Oh Baby!

So a dear friend reminded me this morning of the fact that I haven't made any annoucements on our blog, so here it goes.

WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!!!

I guess I have held off on saying anything on here because I feel this is my place to share more personally what has been going on in our lives.  I knew this would not just be a quick blog post, although I could have definitely made it that way, but I just wouldn't feel right about it.  Okay, in reality it really probably won't be that long, but I just had to preface it that way in case it turned out that way.

First let's get the basics out of the way. :)  I have almost 17 weeks pregnant and I'm due September 22nd.  We don't know what we're having yet, but we will definitely be finding out.  I started getting sick around 9 weeks and I'm still getting sick periodically.  Let's just say not just nausea. (Ugh, I know you wanted to know, haha) I feel like I'm finally starting to get some energy, but slowly.  Overall, it really hasn't been that bad so far.  I'm really starting to enjoy it more and more.  I haven't felt the baby move yet, but I'm sure it'll happen soon.  Matt is absolutely beyond excited.  He keeps asking me if it's wrong that he's so excited.  I remind him it's perfectly normal and I'd be quite worried if he wasn't so excited.

So for the background now.  Matt and I got married when I was 22 and he was 23.  I always thought we'd be able to have all the kids we wanted by the time I was 30, and then we'd be done and live happily ever after.  Ha!  Was I ever wrong.  We started trying to get pregnant a year after we got married.  I had really prayed about it and just knew that's what we were supposed to do.  So after a year and I still wasn't pregnant I started worrying.  We made an appointment with my doctor and went in to see the fertility specialist.  They tested me, they tested Matt and all tests came back that we were just fine.  That was definitely not reassuring to me, at all.  I mean I felt like why in the world am I not getting pregnant!?  If I'm fine then why is it not happening?

I don't remember the exact time line but around that time I asked Matt to give me a Priesthood blessing.  I just knew I needed answers that I wasn't getting from my prayers.  So in my blessing I was told to be patient, basically.  This was also around the time that we got the girls, so life was pretty crazy as it was, so looking back now, I see then was not a good time.  At the time though I was thinking, really?!  I must have to say that was a very difficult year for us.  We had the girls, gave them back, we moved to Kentucky and I was just miserable.  So the fact that I didn't get pregnant is truly no surprise. 

I have to say that while we wanted a baby so bad, I never felt super pressured from it all.  I tried to have an eternal perspective on this, as far as I knew I would have children, whether here on earth or not, I knew I would have them.  We had talked about adoption, but knew now was not the time.  We found out our new insurance would not cover fertility treatments at all, so that was ruled out as well.  So I really had just resigned myself to the fact that if we were meant to have kids we would and I was done and I mean done worrying about it. 

I remember calling my mom and telling her that I was just done.  I was done living my life on "what if" I get pregnant and not making plans to do things because "if" I got pregnant we wouldn't be able to do this or that.  I wouldn't get on proper medicine for my anxiety because I couldn't be on it "if" I was pregnant.  This all took place about last fall.  So I made an appointment with my regular doctor and got put on medicine that I would have to stop taking if I got pregnant, but I didn't care.  Matt and I talked about booking a big trip for our five year anniversary in August because we were done living our life on the "what if's".  I felt very liberated, but I still had a little pang whenever a friend announced they were pregnant.  I was truly so happy and excited for them, but usually on the day I found out I struggled, and then got over it.  I feel so guilty now even feeling that way, but I just couldn't help it. 

So, anyway, my birthday came rolling around in January and I was turning 27.  I was a few days late and was deathly afraid to take a pregnancy test.  I was so afraid I'd take it and then it'd come up negative.  But we ended up getting a test and lo and behold, it came up positive.  That was such an exciting moment.  I just couldn't believe that after all of that time it finally happened. 

I feel like life has been put into a little better perspective for me as far as why it has taken us so long.  I definitely know that in looking back over the past 3 1/2 years that life would have been a lot harder for us had we had a baby, and I don't know that our faith would have grown so much.  I know that it has definitely strengthened our relationship as a couple because this could have easily driven us apart.  I'm very grateful that we have been chosen to be the parents to this little baby and absolutely can't wait until we get to meet him or her. 

Utah

My Grandpa Hellstrom passed away on June 22nd.  My dad, who lives in Virginia, called to let me know about it that Thursday morning.  I was just really bummed about it, and knew there was no way that I could go out for the funeral.  Matt was out of the office all day long, and so I wasn't able to share my sadness with him except through text messages, and I was having a much harder time with it than I thought I would.  In the early afternoon I got a special delivery from my dear sweet husband. 

He knows how much I just absolutely LOVE gerber daisies, so he sent me this arrangement because he felt so bad that he couldn't be at work with me while I was having suck a yucky day.  Also during this time I realized Dad and Jill would be driving through Louisville on their way to Utah, so we made plans for the to eat dinner with us that night.  So, when Matt got back to work he wanted to know if I wanted to go to Utah with Dad and Jill.  Honestly, the thought hadn't really crossed my mind, but it was definitely something I would love to do.  Well, the more and more I thought of it, the more and more I realized I really did need to go.  Since Grandpa Hellstrom passed away, I now only have one surviving grandparent and that's Grandpa Cummins.  I have always had a special bond with him, and the last time I saw him was at our wedding four years ago!  I just felt like I needed to go to not only support my dad, but to visit my Grandpa.  Also, my mom lives there, and Isabella & Jared, my niece and nephew are there and their parents, obviously.  I just kept feeling a strong feeling that I needed to go.  So, I called up Dad & Jill, and asked if there was room in the car for one more, and lucky for me, there was!  So Matt & I got home from work around 5:30, and it was a mad dash to get packed for a good solid week away, since we were meeting Dad & Jill for dinner around 7.  I am so grateful for such a compassionate and understanding husband who was the one to suggest me going, and truly knew I needed it. 

While there, I got to go and stay with my mom in Ogden the whole time we were there.  It was so wonderful to be able to spend that time with her and David, her husband.  I got to see the kids quite a bit, and I also got to meet one of my step-sisters and her husband and two of their three kids.  They brought my mom's old dog Petzl over, who Jessica and Kurt now own.  He reminds me so much of Macy.  The biggest difference is his face is blacker than Macy's.  I had such a blast with them while they were over.  I got to spend a couple of days with my Grandpy and that was just very special for me. 

My dad comes from a family of 10 kids.  My Grandma passed away last year towards the beginning of the year.  My Grandpa has had alzheimer's for the last couple of years and had been in a nursing home.  They were sealed for time and eternity in the LDS Logan temple.  After attending the funeral, it reaffirmed my testimony in the Plan of Salvation.  In knowing that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us.  That I know where we came from, and where we're going when we leave this life.  I'm so grateful to know that he was reunited with the love of his life.  They were married for over 60 years, and left such a legacy behind them. 

While at the viewing and funeral, I got to see aunts and uncles and cousins who I haven't seen in over 13 years!  It was so much fun getting to visit and remember all of the fun different things of growing up and going Huckleberry Picking every year.  I may not have spent all of my time growing up in Utah, but I'm glad I got to spend the years there with family that I did.  It was neat seeing my cousins with their families, and to see how much everyone has grown and changed. 

Isabella and Jared were just so much fun to be around.  I haven't seen Jared since he was a year and a half old.  He was just a baby, and he's getting to be such a big boy now.  He is talking much better now, and when you can actually be around him, and see him when he talks, it's amazing how much better I was able to understand him!  These pictures of him were taken at the viewing.  He decided that he was going to do some silly faces for me.  I hate not living closer and being able to be a fun auntie to them all of the time. 

I'm just so grateful that I had the opportunity to go and spend a week with my family.  I really wish that Matt could have gone, but we'll just have to make that trip another day.  

Update

I sometimes wonder why in the world I even try to keep a blog.  I'm horrible about keeping it updated.  I don't ever take pictures of the things we do do, so I can't even prove we've done anything.  I think part of that has to do with the fact that we really are boring people.  We wake up, go to work, come home, play with the dogs, go to bed and do it all over again.  We throw in an occasional trip to Ohio, and basically that is our lives in a nut shell.  I will concede though that this past month we've had a little more than that going on.  So here it is.

Matt had a six month checkup at the dentist's office around the end of April.  When he went they said he had a ton of cavities all of a sudden and needed to get them filled.  So we went back to get a couple of them fixed, and came home complaining up a storm that his mouth hurt.  I, who growing up was the cavity queen, told him to get over it, it'd be fine the next day.  Throughout the next couple of days he kept complaining, and let me tell you, it was getting annoying.  So I told him to call the dentist back and get them to fix it.  He went back, and they adjusted his bite.  Well, he said his mouth was still hurting him, and it was really the whole right side of his face.  I couldn't kiss him, I couldn't touch him, the dogs couldn't do anything near him, he was just generally in a poopy mood.  It was sure starting to wear on my nerves.  So I made him call them again, and go back.  Well he did, and they now said he needed a root canal!  I kept thinking, it sure is convienent that when he went 6 months ago his teeth were fine, and now all of a sudden they are falling apart.  Well he was very nervous about getting a root canal, and they couldn't get him in until the end of May for that.  After a lot of talking, he decided to not go back to them and find another dentist.  He found one, they got him in out Tuesday, the 31st, and they said they just needed to adjust his bite some more.  He came hom stating he already could tell a difference.  I just now called him, to ask how it is, and he said it's nothing, he doesn't want to jinx it.  :)  So, I'm here to tell you it must be better, because he's not complaining.  I am so much happier, I thought I was going to have to pull all of his teeth myself to get him to quit complaining about them!  Oh yeah, and the new dentist said that he didn't need a root canal after all, so I really don't know what the deal was with that other dentist office.  F-R-U-S-T-R-A-T-I-N-G!

We went up to Ohio for Mother's Day and spent the whole weekend with Matt's family.  It was such a nice weekend.  Besides Matt's complaining about his mouth, that made him pretty grumpy.  The rear brakes on my car needed to be changed, so while we were at his Dad's house he took care of that.  In the process, we now know, my car doesn't have a jack.  I mean really, who keeps the jack for an 06 Altima?!  That's craziness.  Anyway, now he just needs to do the front brakes.  I'm very grateful for a husband who knows how to do those things, and if he doesn't know, he's willing to learn, and willing to put up with my constant questioning of "Do you want me to just call my Dad and ask him?"  I sure do love him for all of those things!

The following weekend Matt left for DHI for 10 days.  DHI is Door & Hardware Institute.  It is a school for our industry, that allows people to get certifications.  Matt is embarking on a 2+ year program to get his AHC (Architectural Hardware Consultant), CDC (Commercial Door Consultant), and EHC (Electrical Hardware Consultant).  There are only about 10 people in the whole country who have all three certifications.  He got to go to Lansdowne, VA and stay in a 100 square foot room, and go to class from 8 to 5:30 Sunday through Sunday.  Needless to say, I was ready for him to come home after 10 days and he was ready to come home too.

So, the month of May at least had a few things going on worth updating.  I'll think about what has happened in June so far, and maybe blog about that. :)

I am a dummy

So let me start this post off by saying I really am a dummy and you can laugh at my stupidity as much as you want. My feelings won't be hurt.

Yesterday morning at work my friend was having a hard time getting the flip top lid on her bottle of water to open. So I so graciously offered to help her open it. I grabbed the first sharp pointy thing I could find, which was a long letter opener. I then tried jabbing the little tab that broke with the opener. It slipped and I sliced my finger. Let me just tell you that that letter opener was very sharp, apparently. It sliced my finger like butter.

Exhibit A

So, to leave out all of the gorry details, just know by the end of the day it was still bleeding. I went to the urgent care center and gave all of the staff there a good laugh. I had to get a tetanus shot and then they super-glued my finger. Oh I didn't tell you it is my middle finger so as I drive I give people the bird, and I don't even mean to. Matt just keeps shaking his head at me, I think he's ashamed. :) Everyone at work thinks I'm not the smartest apple in the bunch, and I'm sure they're considering taking my office supplies away. I don't really blame them.

Home at Last

The puppies are home!!! This past weekend we went up to Jeanne's house and picked up the poochies. It has been so wonderful having them home. They are adjusting pretty well. I was a little worried about the barking every time they hear the guy upstairs walking around, but surprisingly they haven't even acknowledged it. I talked to Jeanne yesterday and she said Max is having a hard time. He went looking in our room at Jeanne's house for them yesterday morning. Then she said he was moping this morning. I think it hit Macy this morning that she doesn't have Max to play with. She kept trying to get Brutus to play with her and he wanted nothing to do with her. I know they'll all adjust just fine, but it makes me sad for them right now. Here are a few pictures of them from yesterday.

When we got Brutus as a puppy Jeanne told us we should get this special tape to tape Brutus' ears down so they wouldn't stick up. We thought she was crazy. His ears were cute as a puppy. So, Matt folded his ears down and this is what Bruty would have looked like had we listened to Jeanne.

We've always said that Macy was a hateful little girl. Okay, she's not really hateful, she is just very stubborn. She can have quite the attitude. This is her sassy look.

I had forgotten how much fun we had with the dogs. It really has been so wonderful having them back with us. I feel so much better having them. I know Jeanne is relieved too. :)

House

Well after what feels like 20 years, our house has finally been rented! We were trying to sell it and after determining we were very tired of making a mortgage payment every month on top of rent, we decided to try and rent it. We have been so extremely blessed. The people looked at it and immediately signed a year long lease and moved right in. I just hope they take care of it as well as we tried and love it as much as I do. It's been very bittersweet. I have absolutely loved that house, partly I'm sure because it was our first house. But, that house suited our needs perfectly. There was nothing about that house that I hated or didn't like. I never had constant complaints about it, or things I wanted to change. I couldn't have asked for a better first house.

As far as being in Louisville I can't say the same things about where we live. I've determined I don't do well in small apartments. I also don't do well not having my puppies with us. Since we've gotten the house rented, we are looking at moving into a bigger/nicer apartment where we can have the dogs. My sister Jeanne is taking the best care of them, and I know they love having Max, but their mommy and daddy sure miss them. The only downside of changing apartments is having to pack again! I sure don't do well with it, but this time I'll have Matt's help and my sisters, if I ask. I'm so grateful for living so much closer to family. I also know that when the time comes to actually move all we have to do is make a couple of phone calls and we can have family gallore here to help. I truly know this move was the right thing for us, but I'm not going to lie when I say it's been one of the hardest moves I've ever made. I guess once you get settled in your life it's that much harder to just pick up and move. I hope we can get settled like that once more. I sure loved North Carolina and all that it had to offer. I think Kentucky can eventually offer that to us too. :)

Major Update

So I've been a big fat blogger failure. After my last post in July our worlds got somewhat crazier than they already were. I guess I should go back a couple of months before that and start at the beginning.

Sometime in the spring Matt had gotten the feeling that we were meant to be closer to our family in Ohio. We really started prayerfully considering it. We definitely got a yes to our prayer of should we move closer to our family. Then we had to figure out the how. We still had the girls and weren't sure as to how long we were going to have them. We were still being extremely prayerful as to what Heavenly Father wanted us to do. We knew we'd both have to find jobs, somewhere to live and sell our house in North Carolina.

While I went on my wonderful trip to the beach with my sisters and mom, Matt got a call one night. A man called him on that Friday and said he received Matt's resume and heard he was wanting to move closer to his family in Ohio. Matt was pretty stunned about all of this. He had never heard of the company this man was calling from and was just in shock that he knew of our situation. Matt told him he'd have to talk with me first and that he'd call him back. Once I got back and we talked about it, Matt called him back the first of the following week. After talking with James, he called me and said that James asked Matt what he thought of moving to Louisville, KY. When Matt mentioned this to me I was in shock for about 1/2 a second, then I immediately told Matt sure, why not? It would put us much, much closer to our families, but still far enough away that we'd have the space we were used to.

Matt went on an interview around the middle of June. I stayed home with the girls while he went. His interview was a major success! Three hours after he left they called him and said the three people he interviewed with were very impressed with him. He got a job offer from them a couple of weeks later and he had a start date of August 16.

The girls were still an issue, because Casey had been home from Haiti for quite some time, so I called her and told her it was time for her to come pick them up. She originally didn't want to get them until Nicholas came home in August. I explained that Matt would be moving, and I didn't want to have the girls by myself and she needed to get them. I still wasn't quite sure if Matt would get the job or not, but it was time for them to go back. Matt and I absolutely, positively LOVED our time with those two precious little girls. But we could tell it was time for them to go home. It was very hard for us and the girls to say goodbye, but we had to around the middle of July.

Once the girls left, I had to start getting busy. I had to get the house ready to be listed so we could try and sell it. It's amazing how empty our house felt once they left. It was very heartbreaking for Matt and I, but we really didn't have time to dwell on it since we had to get ready to move. I wasn't having any luck finding a job, and the house wasn't sold, so we knew Matt would have to move without me. I kept thinking I had a ton of time before he'd be gone, so I was trying not to worry about it. Well, let me tell you, that time flew by and before I knew it it was time for him to move. Two weeks before he was supposed to move we went up to Louisville to try and find an apartment. We were very lucky and the second one we went to we liked and were able to get it.

I believe Matt left on Friday the 13, and I had never felt so lonely before in my life. Thank goodness I had the dogs. I knew that this was supposed to be what happened, but it didn't make it any easier. We had been praying so hard about this, and I truly knew this was the right thing, but boy was it difficult.

At the end of September I was asked to come up and interview with Matt's company. I was more than ready to since I was extremely ready to be with my husband again. I was offered the job and had a start date of October 26. That meant I had to get the house packed, and everything settled in two weeks from when I got the offer. Talk about being stressed out! Anyone who knows me, knows that I absolutely DESPISE moving, and then to have to do it all by myself on top of it. Luckily I had a good friend who came over a couple of times to help me pack. Without her help, I honestly don't think I could have gotten it done.

The move itself went pretty well. Matt and I didn't pull out of Winston Salem until 10:00 pm. I had worked all day, and then came home and had to finish up the odds and ends. Luckily my friend came over again to help us finish. We drove all night long and finally pulled into our apartment complex at 6:00 am. Our family was due to show up around noon to help us unload. We got about 4 hours of sleep and got up and started unloading some ourselves. Before we could unload the truck we had to go to Uhaul to drop off the car carrier. After we got the car unloaded, the guy there told Matt to pull the truck around the building. When he was coming back around the building, the didn't see a parked car and side swiped it. Needless to say, it put a little bit of a damper on our morning.

Anway, we got the truck unloaded, and were basically completely unpacked by Monday. It was such a huge relief. The only major thing still lingering is the fact that we still have our house in North Carolina. We are in the process of trying to rent that, so we'll see how that goes.

The weekend that we got here, Matt got called as the Second Counselor in the Elder's Quoram presidency. So he's not only busy with work, but he's busy at church too. I got called as the Public Relations and Emergency Preparedness Specialist. Don't ask what that is, because I'm still trying to figure it out.

Overall our move here has been wonderful. With one major exception. The dogs are living with my sister Jeanne for now. We didn't want to have them in this apartment. It has been so hard to not have them with us. But, Jeanne got a new puppy the week before we moved, so Macy and Brutus have a new friend to play with.

As you can see, they are doing just fine there. That is Max in the middle, and he's obviously much bigger than Macy and Brutus. For the first couple of weeks Macy wanted nothing to do with Max. Anytime he came near her she growled at him. Brutus on the other hand, has done just fine with him. It took a little while, but Macy is now friends with Max. They love their Aunt Jean so much, so I know they are being well taken care of. I try to go up every couple of weeks so see them. Luckily they haven't forgotten me. That's been a huge relief, since that's been a ginormous fear of mine.

So, as far as I can think of, that's our update. I will try and make a better effort at updating again, even though it's only Matt and I now and not the girls.